Marriage Article #1: In the Midst of the Roses

Hey ladies!
So my two year anniversary is tomorrow \(*o*)/ woop woop!! So happy, I can't wait to celebrate!!
Anyway, in honor of this I've decided to do an article on Marriage! Not much of a teaching, but more of a journal/word of encouragement.

I want to start by saying that marriage really has been a BED OF ROSES!! It has been, as my huzzy puts it: "A WONDERFUL ADVENTURE". Whenever people asked me how I'm enjoying marriage, I usually say that if I had known that marriage would have been so wonderful, I would have gotten married a long time ago lol.

On our wedding day, my husband and I said both traditional and personally written vows to each other...actually, we had been so busy that we had not gotten time to write our own vows, so at the altar, we simply spoke from our hearts. One thing that we both had in common though, was that we had ended our vows like this: "...and now that I have found you my love, I promise to hold on, and NEVER let go.", spring boarding from the theme scripture verse for our wedding taken from Songs of Solomon 3:4. Also, we did NOT light unity candles. Instead, we did a "Three Strand Cord Ceremony" (follow the link if you are interested). We wanted to demonstrate the fact that we knew that we could not make it in our marriage without God's help, that He was the foundation upon which we would build our marriage.

We were determined to stay together for the rest of our lives...and we are even more determined now! But I want to interject here that in the midst of our bed of roses, we have encountered many a THORN. Roses have thorns people!...and if you want the bed of roses, you must also learn to cope with the thorns when they do pop up. 

Our journey has not been perfect. Many people may want to convince you that their marriage is perfect and that they have no problems, though I can admit, we have had many ups and downs...but it has all been a part of the process that has brought us closer together and made us love each other more. You know, one of my friends once told me that her pastor told them that they should never marry a "process", but they should marry a "product"...and a part of me may be inclined to agree with that statement...but another part of me doesn't. I believe that we are all "processes", on our way to becoming the people that God wants us to be...the "product". I believe that in this Christian walk, we never stop growing. I am not the same person my husband married two years ago, and neither is he the same. Many people would have criticised me for marrying my husband back then...and I have heard much of the comments that were made behind my back. My husband was what many would have called a "process"...but looking back, if I had walked away, I would have missed all that he has now become!! And I would have been kicking myself lol. A word to the wise: That does not mean that every guy out there that says he loves you is up for grabs. You have to listen to the voice of God, allowing Him to choose that MAN that walks alongside you...notice I said MAN and not BOY! My husband's job was less than desirable, but boy was he a Man of God! He was honourable, and never forced me to do anything wrong. As a matter of fact, when he first asked me to be his girlfriend I had said no, and he waited on me! He never nagged me to be his girlfriend, but honoured my wishes. Now that's a man!

On our wedding day, we took our vows very seriously. My husband has proven to be loyal through the difficult times. No one supports me more than he does. He's my personal cheering squad and tries his best to build me up...even though I don't always see it :(

I want to encourage you, if you are struggling in your marriage, be determined to hold on and NEVER let go. Make that your vow today. It is so easy to become selfish when things are not going right. We usually think of ourselves first. "Well he's not being romantic" or "He yelled at me first". Oh what an effect a simple "I love you" can have. My husband and I have found ourselves in very heated arguments and I am learning how to grab a hold of him and spontaneously start praying in moments like that...at times, I've found myself praying in between tears. When I do that, the argument comes to an end because the accuser of the brethren had to take his leave. Refuse to give up on your marriage. If God was faithful enough to hold on to me, I am going to be faithful in my marriage and hold on also.

God must be at the center of your marriage!! If He is not your foundation, then that marriage does not stand a chance! We as married couples must make an effort to spend time together in God's Presence...not just to pray together, but to do some serious warfare! You have to be prepared to have some church up in there! The devil wants your marriage and you can't let him have it! This of course cannot take the place of your own personal devotion with the Lord. You still need to spend some one-on-one time with the Lover of your soul. Also, go to God when you have decisions to make...let every request be made known unto God (Philippians 4:6). He's the One best suited to tell you what to do anyway, because He sees the outcome of all your moves.

Lastly, learn how to forgive. If God looked at you in your imperfection and died for your sins, and forgave you when you asked Him to, then why withhold forgiveness from your spouse whom you claim to love more than anyone? It may be hard at times, but learn to let go and allow love to cover the hurt...for love covereth a  multitude of sins (Above all, love each other deeply...1 Peter 4:8 NIV). If you want your marriage to work, you have to let go of selfish feelings...Just like in the movie "Fireproof" :)

I want to leave you with this song by Warren Barfield...also from the movie "Fireproof"...this song was played while we signed the marriage register on our wedding day...the perfect song for such an act, don't you think? Please have a listen. Hope it blesses your hearts.

God bless you all
Krystal